Christmas

Christmas was surprisingly uneventful diabetes-wise. I got a lovely bag for my insulin supplies which I promptly ditched when I found a slightly bigger bag. Sorry mom.
I got a whole lot of tea and even more teapots. What am I going to do with all of these teapots? I don't even have a stove at college.
The most exciting gift was a dumpling making kit. I haven't had any Chinese food since I was diagnosed. That's really disappointing because dumplings are on the top ten list for Things That I Love That Will Probably Kill Me One Day (Cats are on that list as well). Now I have recipes I can make so I can enjoy Chinese food without wondering "How much sugar is in this really?".
And of course, I got socks for Christmas. Why do you care? Because I am a sock connoisseur and I collect only the coolest, most fabulous socks and then wear them until there are holes in the toes. The sock haul was incredible this year since everyone in my family has realized what a sock nerd I am. Plus I can use my "I have diabetes so my feeties need to stay warm" excuse to get even more socks.
Hey, if you can't use your powers for evil some times, what good are they?
See you in the New Year!
Elizabeth

Late Again

I'm so sorry guys! I said I would write more so I should write more, shouldn't I?
Well, yesterday I finally got my blood tests rescheduled. I was supposed to have them in October, but I forgot. This is only the second time I've ever had to have blood drawn and once again, I was nervous.
I gave myself a little pep talk ("You're only nervous because this is the second time this has ever happened. You'll get used to it. You'll be fine.") and before I knew it, it was over. Even my mom was impressed. She said I was a fast bleeder. It's a nice trait to have when you're a diabetic. Anyways, I decided to reward myself for this act of bravery and expert bleeding and I bought myself some socks and a life-sized BB-8 (from the new Star Wars movie).
I'll keep in touch!
Elizabeth

Looking Like Diabetes

Friends, I forgot to tell you about the farmer's market incident! Before I get into Christmas stories, I must tell you this one.

My mother and I were at a local farmer's market being held at our town hall. We live in a small Maine town, so events like this happen all the time. It was just a few tables where people sold baked goods and soaps and little wooden cars. Of course, they want you to taste things too. That's the real reason why you go: free samples. 

Well, we stopped at this one stall because they had cheese spreads and I was a little interested so I tried some of the cheeses. Then the lady offered us some fudge to try and I said no thank you. This woman insisted that I try some so my mom stepped in to explain. 

"She has diabetes," my mother explained. We had both kind of hoped that we could leave it at that.

"She doesn't look like it," the lady remarked. 

"It's juvenile diabetes," my mother explained further, but my brain was already far away.

Do I look like diabetes? What does diabetes look like? 

Maybe people only see Type 2 diabetes on the news, so they think that everyone with diabetes looks like that? But someone can look overweight and not have Type 2. 

How come people don't understand the difference? 

But all of my friends understand the difference. In fact, most people my age would never say something like that. The only people who have really misunderstood are older people. Is it a problem with education? 

When I look in the mirror, I don't see a diabetic person. I see a collection of ideas in one person who happens to be me. Before diabetes, I didn't even think about my body. I didn't think about what I ate. I didn't think about how healthy or unhealthy I was.

I just was.

Now, just being takes more thought, but I still am. 

Finals Week

Finals week was surprisingly good.
I mean, not exam-wise. My first exam (Great Books) and my last exam (Statistics) were horrible. I didn't get done until Friday, but at least I wasn't there until Saturday.
I was also trying to schedule for my last class (I got American Government and I have to get from one side of the campus to the other in 15 minutes in order to get to my next class). That's a problem for future me though. Next semester's schedule has no classes on Friday or Monday at least.
I kept telling Pauline, "I can't believe my blood sugar is so good. I can't believe it!"
I was running around without a safety net and I hadn't fallen yet.
I was midway through finals week when I started to feel sick one day. Not sniffly nose and coughing sick. I just felt awful and too warm and like my stomach was filled with goo. I thought, "Maybe I should check my blood just in case."
The number 352 blinked on the screen.
"Well, that explains everything!"
It was the only problem I had all week.
I was more worried about my grades which was what I should have been worried about.

Now I'm back home with a new working Dexcom and everything is going to be fine until Christmas which I assume is going to be a whole new adventure.

Dexcom Problems

Remember the insulin disaster I told you about yesterday?
Yeah, settle down, I got another story.

It was the Friday before finals week. My friend Pauline, and I were having a Christmas party in our dorm. It was just a small party: we exchanged gifts with a few friends, built gingerbread houses, played card games, and watched The Grinch.
In the middle of all of this, I was fighting with my Dexcom.
The Dexcom transmitter battery was dead. It had been three months since I had gotten the Dexcom, so this was normal. It just meant getting my new transmitter out and putting that in instead. I read the directions and tried to get the new one to work, but it just wasn't happening. I thought that I must have been doing something wrong. I was a newbie at this...
So, I decide that for the Christmas party, I wasn't going to worry about this. I was going to take care of it in the morning. Next morning, I call the Dexcom office. The guy at the tech phone walked me through everything. Nothing seemed to work and to top it all off, my receiver wasn't working either.
I had already used one sensor the night before and I had taken it out because things didn't seem to be working. The tech guy suggested I put a new sensor in and try again.
Still nothing.
What had I done?
It turns out there was a batch of Dexcom transmitters that just weren't hooking up to Bluetooth. The man from Dexcom apologized to me, but I was just relieved that it wasn't my fault.
So I had stabbed myself twice just to find out that it was a manufacturing problem and that I would be without my Dexcom for all of finals week.
No problem.
Right?

Insulin Disaster

It was after Thanksgiving and I had just returned to school. I was back to work getting all sorts of stuff done. Finals were quickly approaching. 

I was foolish. I wasn't even thinking about the fact that I have T1D. 

That morning, I took my insulin and realized I was finished with that pen. I went to my mini-fridge to get a new pen when I realized that I had left them all at home. My mom had picked up my insulin and was going to give it to me over Thanksgiving, but in all the hustle and bustle, both of us had forgotten. 

We were right in the middle of the first snowstorm of the season on the day I realized that I didn't have enough insulin. My mom couldn't drive down. 

In retrospect, I wasn't in that much danger, but at the time, it felt like I was at death's door. 

At first, I thought about taking my old basal insulin, but that would mean different doses which I didn't remember the numbers for. 

My mom suggested getting in touch with the endocrinologists and getting my insulin sent to the nearest CVS. That's all well and good, but what if it doesn't make it in time? What if the insurance doesn't cover this? What if I can't get a ride there? What if, what if, what if!!!!

Well, the insulin got sent over the next day. Both my friend, Pauline, and I were able to get to the CVS before lunchtime. She was fine driving me over. She even got some Christmas stuff for a little party we were planning. The insurance covered everything.

Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is falling apart. It isn't, but that's what it feels like. It's scary because you think, "These people aren't going to care if you don't have the money or the ability to get what you need. They don't care that I'm sick. They only care about taking care of themselves and I understand." 

But my friend cared. I had a few people that offered to take me to CVS to get my insulin.
The endocrinologists cared. They got my insulin shipped there as fast as possible. 

The fear sets in when you think you're alone. When you think "I'm the one with the disease so it's on me and only me." It's not. No one wants to see you fail. You're important to a lot of people. Stay strong. 

I'm Back

Hello, friends! Happy holidays!
I said I would be back to writing blog posts after November ended, but I got a little swamped with finals and all sorts of diabetes-related problems which I will share with you in the following days!
You have all been so patient so I'm going to reward you with a post every day until Christmas.
I'm gonna tell you all about living without my Dexcom for finals week, trying to get my insulin, and an awkward conversation at a farmer's market.
I'll see you all in the coming days! Peace and joy to you in this holiday season!