Advice from Me to Me

Since the breakup, I've been trying a lot of different things to feel better.
I made lists.
I deleted photos on my phone (and changed my phone's background).

I've talked with a lot of people too.
"Is feeling this way normal?"
"When does it stop hurting so much?"
"I don't think I ever want to date again."

I talked to my mom. I talked to my guy friends. I talked to my girl friends.
I don't think I really started to heal until I talked to one of my guy friends from home. A mutual friend of my ex and I. He had been in a rough relationship before.

All of this talking made me realize that I didn't even know what I wanted.
So I formed a plan.
From now on, I am going to date myself.
I'm going to take myself out on dates and adventures that I want to go on.
I like when I can hang out with friends on these adventures, but if they don't want to go with me, I'll find friends while I'm there.

Dates I have now taken myself on:
Going to an Escape Room
Starting a D&D game
Going to the library to look at books and then going to see a band

All of these things made me very happy, even without a date.

I've already made a deal with God.
If I'm meant to be with someone, it's His responsibility to get us together.
Until then, I'm going to just date myself.

Paradigm Shift

I have now experienced a breakup. 

I will not lie and say I feel happy. It sucks. 

I cried in the middle of one of my classes. 

Usually, I segment my crying time to when I'm alone and when I can hide the fact that I'm crying.

But there I was, in front of a classroom of people, crying.
I was so surprised. I had cried by myself. I had talked to people. I thought I had gotten it all out. 

I thought I could talk about it intelligently. 

But I'm glad I cried. 

This whole classroom of girls was so supportive. 

I understood why girls in high school had groups. 

I also understood why girls in high school got so emotional over breakups. 

But I think I'm far enough away from the event to start talking about things. 

I like to analyze and work things out by writing about it, so that's what I'll do. 

It means hijacking this site, but I haven't posted anything diabetes-related in a while anyway. 

You'll be hearing from me soon