A Lesson in Healing

On my way home today, I got stuck in some traffic.
I don't mind traffic. I listen to my music and it feels satisfying once I get to the end of the traffic.
But there was a guy, an older gentleman, who got stuck behind me.
I think he was mad because he had to merge in behind my car.
On my way home, I have to cross a bridge. It's one lane with a stoplight at the end.
There isn't much room to maneuver.
The guy behind me was mad because the stoplight was red and he was going to turn right, but I couldn't move out of the way for him. There just wasn't any room.
He flipped me off.
I was so stressed by the way he was driving, the way he was acting, and the honking of his horn.
I returned the motion.
Then he started giving more rude hand gestures.
This man must have been my grandfather's age.

I had had such a lovely day before this moment, but now this is all I can think about.
I returned anger for anger and I didn't feel better.
I couldn't, I can't, stop thinking about this moment.
I didn't start to feel better until later on in my drive, I motioned for another car to slide in ahead of me at an intersection.
The woman in the little blue car had apple earbuds in.
She probably won't remember what I did.
But at that moment, I felt something that was hurting in me heal a little bit.

Anger felt like the right emotion, the right action, at the time, but it hurt more than it helped.
Anger feels right, but it isn't right.
We have to move past the anger, to leave it behind, and to show kindness to the next person.

Doesn't It Hurt?

People say a lot of dumb things to Type 1 Diabeteics. 

I've heard quite a few personally, but at the top is "Does giving yourself shots hurt?"

Ladies, you can all understand the analogy I'm about to make here.

You've had your period for years now. Does getting period cramps stop hurting?

You're used to it now, so you can ignore the pain, but it still hurts.

That's what diabetes is like. I'm used to it so I can ignore the pain.

Does it still hurt? Yes! Of course it does! 

It doesn't stop hurting just because the pain doesn't show on my face. 

I'm just really good at ignoring it. 

Tattoos and Needles

The other day, a group of us arrived before class started and began to talk.
Topic of conversation: tattoos
I was one of the few people who didn't have a tattoo. The other person without a tattoo was a middle aged mother who found that young people having tattoos was horrifying.
I'm not sure I've mentioned it here before, but I have definitely mentioned my tattoo plan several times in real life.
Because I want a tattoo...
After the cure for T1D has been found.
Why the specifics?
Well, for one, getting a tattoo and then having to put an omnipod right on the ink is a bad idea.
And there are so many dangerous complications which can occur with my nasty blood and the ink.
Yeah, better to wait.
But when the cure happens, I'm going to get a tattoo of my omnipod on my leg, right where I would have normally put it.
My mom knows this plan, my cousins know this plan, my friends know this plan, and now my classmates know this plan.
Well, the mother in the group announces that the reason why she doesn't like tattoos (specifically on her children) is because "they're her babies" and she doesn't want them getting stabbed.
So I showed her my omnipod and dexcom.
"Like this?"
"I stab myself with THIS one every three days and THIS one every ten days."
She was even more horrified.
Getting a tattoo means the needles happen and then you're done for the rest of your life.
Honestly, that's kind of a reason I'm looking forward to a tattoo.
Just some needles and (after the cure) I'd be done for the rest of my life.