Roommate Diabetes

I accepted my diagnosis quickly. 

Maybe it's because I had felt horrible for so long I would do anything to not feel so tired and sad.

Maybe it's because some part of me always knew that something like this would happen. 

(I don't mean to freak you out, but I always sort of suspected I would get some big, life-changing disease. *shrug*) 

But I accepted being diabetic quickly. Even subconsciously. 

Whenever I have dreams, I think, "I can't eat anything here. I'm diabetic." It's kind of frustrating when all I want is a big slice of dream pie. (No calories or carbs in dream pie.)

But I'm still surprised sometimes that I have this. That I have to take shots. 

I was walking to my first class today and I suddenly realized, "Oh my gosh. I have this disease. I'm sick all the time now." I think I separate the diabetic part of me from the rest of me mentally.

I heard it described once that living with diabetes is like living with a new member of your family.

I think living with diabetes is like living with a new roommate (but not a roommate you necessarily want). This roommate fills your fridge with her seltzer water and slaps your hand away from that cheesecake you really want and pinches you and shouts at you and whines. 

She whines. All. The. Time.

"My blood sugar it too hiiiiiigh." "Hurry up!!! My blood sugar is too low!!" 

She's frustrating and annoying and I'd like to evict her from my life, but she follows me everywhere. She hops into my backpack and comes to all my classes with me. She looks over my shoulder at the homework I'm doing. She's here right now, watching me type and nagging me to check my blood sugar right now. 

But she's invisible to everyone but me. Even other diabetics can't see her. They're dealing with their own diabetes. And here's the big thing, she follows me, but she isn't me. She's like me. She has my body and face, but she's only a piece of me. A piece of me I can ignore if I want, but I can't ignore her for too long. 

Maybe someday soon I can say goodbye to my roommate for good. The new artificial pancreas has just been released. One day I might be able to leave my diabetes for good.