My first endo doctor told me I could never eat pizza again.
My second endo doctor kept me on a blood pressure medication that made my already low blood pressure even lower and gave me horrible dizzy spells. He said he "didn't want to step on his colleague's toes".
My third endo doctor, my first time meeting her, was when I got pregnant for the first time and I overheard her talk to the nurse about how I had made a mistake. That I shouldn't have gotten pregnant.
Being T1D does not mean you cannot do normal life things. It means those normal life events have an added layer of complexity. But when I heard that doctor imply that my child was a mistake, I knew that I couldn't keep playing this horrible game with this endo office and I left. Of course, with many diabetes fixes, when one problem is solved, new problems arise.
I was now pregnant and going to a new endo office which was a part of a diabetes and pregnancy program at a big name hospital. They at least knew I could have a healthy pregnancy, but they sure didn't trust me to be able to do it. My endo wanted me on low carb diets. Along with all the food you can't eat during pregnancy already came a much longer list of foods that were suddenly off limits. And when you're pregnant with hormones and pregnancy cravings, that made me mad. But I was also scared for my unborn baby. I would do anything to keep her safe. So I survived on eggs, cheese, pickles, and what I called "magic soup". (The soup was a Chinese pork and cabbage soup. I can get you the recipe.)
My baby was born small, but healthy. I had been miserable, but nothing terrible had happened. I felt like I had been failing the whole pregnancy, but there was my beautiful and healthy baby.
When I got pregnant with my second, I went to the same endo and same hospital. I was treated the same way, as if I knew nothing. I had done this once and yet I felt like I was doing even worse the second time! And then I realized that on my chart, during my second pregnancy at the same hospital, they had put down that I had gestational diabetes. How long had that been there? Is that why I was being treated like I was stupid? How could this have happened? I had fallen for "The Devil You Know" fallacy all over again, but this devil did not know me.
I switched endos afterwards. I was mad and determined to find someone who would listen to me. I'm glad I did.
I'm now pregnant with my third child. My current endo knows and trusts me. The hospital I'm going to for prenatal care knows me and trusts me too.
To all T1Ders out there, you deserve to be heard and seen and listened to. You did nothing to deserve this disease and you don't deserve to keep getting punished because of another doctor's fears. If an endo office is hurting you, leave. You deserve better.
